boyz, boyz, boyzzz

I wanna start writing in here more because I feel so much better when I get everything off of my chest and this is a way for me to do that.

In the past week things with Will and I went from being completely fabulous to a fucking disaster. I blame the timing mostly. It is horrible that summer is so close because he lives so far away and we would hardly see each other. That wouldn't have been a problem if we had been dating for a few months but that's not the case. But after thinking about it and talking it over with Kate I decided to just give it a chance. It would be naive of me to think that I could just go off and do whatever I wanted to this summer, come back three months later and have everything back to normal. Well I knew Will had some of the same feelings previously because he did break up with his girlfriend largely because of me. Needless to say I brought it up, the idea didn't go over smoothly and I've hardly spoke to him in the past few days. It's weird because I really care about this guy. I haven't really liked someone since Daniel. I've tried to convince myself to like people and it always failed of course but this time was different. Plus he was the nicest guy I have ever met and so sweet. I really don't know what to do and this is extremely frustrating. I know I'll prolly see him this weekend so I guess I'll just wait and see how things go. Just play it by ear.


I'm extremely bored at work and am just doing this to kill time.

DID YOU KISS SOMEONE BEFORE YOU WERE SIXTEEN?
hahhaha ooooh high school days

WHO WAS THE LAST GIRL OTHER THAN FAMILY YOU SAID " I LOVE YOU" TOO?
uhhh when i talked on the phone yesterday to sierra/mel/linley during my lil freak out. thats how i always end phone convos with those crazy chicas

WHAT ABOUT THE LAST GUY?
wow uhhh senior year in high school. depressing!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE T.V .
SHOW?
its a tough choice between weeds and greys like wow

WOULD YOU RATHER GO TO TOKYO OR PARIS?
wellll if i started dating lupe fiasco i could go to both!

HAVE YOU SEEN SOMEONE TODAY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO?
hahhahha wills ex susan...talk about awkward

LAST TEXT MESSAGE IN YOUR INBOX, WHO IS IT FROM?
from linley saying how interesting the summer is gunna be....and god i hope so

GOOD DAY OR BAD DAY?
well i registered for classes today and got all the ones i wanted, its beautiful outside annnd im going shopping for kates birthday later!

EVER KISSED ANYONE WHOSE NAME STARTED WITH AN "S"?
ive kissed so many people one of them is bound to have a name beginning with an s...OH stacy!

PLANS THIS SUMMER?
so far philly and hopefully the beach/bend/canada with peeps...annnnd i needa find a job asap!

THINK ABOUT YOUR EX, WHAT IF HE/SHE TOLD YOU HE/SHE WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER?
id prolly fall over on the floor from laughter

IN WINTER, WOULD YOU RATHER WEAR A JACKET OR HOODIES?
in pullman you would freeze to death if you only rocked hoodies

WHERE DID YOU LAST SLEEP OTHER THAN YOUR HOUSE?
wills....uhhhh yea k

IF AN EX SAID HE/SHE HATED YOU, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY?
suck it

ARE YOU AFRAID OF ROLLERCOASTERS?​
no i love those things

LAST PERSON TO CALL YOU?
my mama

WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO BEFORE YOU SLEPT?
always kate cuz we are together every single waking moment of our lives

DO YOU PREFER WARM OR COLD WEATHER?
warrrrmmmm!

DO YOU EAT A LOT OF FAST FOOD?
gosh almost never......not counting yesterday cuz i wasnt in the right state of mind to eat anything but a burger and fries

WERE YOU HAPPY WHEN YOU WOKE UP TODAY?
well not at 830 when i registered for classes buuut when i woke up at 11 i was all smiles!

HAVE YOU EVER DRIVEN WITHOUR YOUR LICENSE?
yep it scares me not gunna lie

DO YOU KNOW PEOPLE THAT DO DRUGS?
drugs are bad

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A BEST FRIEND THAT WAS THE OPPOSITE SEX?
yep good times

HOW OFTEN DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS?
ive been remembering sooooo many lately its fabulous!

WHAT'S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO DO?
hw and write a paper boooo

IF YOU COULD BE WITH SOMEONE RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD IT BE?
zac efron

DO YOU FIND LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS HARD?
never been in one soooo dunno

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
i ask myself that everyday of my life

HAVE YOU SHAVED YOUR LEGS IN THE PAST THREE DAYS?
yep gotta love the sunny weather

IF SOMEONE LIKED YOU, WOULD YOU WANT THEM TO TELL YOU?
yep unless they were icky and i openly despised them

WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT MOOD?
stressed about finals ahhhh!

WILL YOU BE IN BED WITHIN TWENTY MINUTES?
god no ill be sitting in this same damn chair

ARE YOUR NAILS ALWAYS PAINTED?
toes are, fingers usually

LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU LAUGH?
kate

IF YOU COULD MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE, WOULD YOU?
perhaps

WOULD YOU CRY IF YOU FOUND OUT YOU HAD HIV?
god stds are just ick

WILL YOU BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IN FOUR MONTHS?
whoooo knows

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU DID SOMETHING YOU KNEW WAS WRONG?
uhhhh dunno

DO YOU HATE THE LAST GUY/GIRL YOU HAD A THING WITH?
no

HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT A FRIEND CHEATING ON THEIR BOY/GIRL?
no i wouldnt know what to say

"The odds are against us. I'm a one women wrecking ball, all I do is break you. Your hand, your penis, your relationships, your life. I'd say our survival rate is about three percent. And that's, that's bad. But, it's not nothing. And I don't think we should give up on this. At least not yet because..."

"You think you broke me? You're the one that put me back together."

Things have been...odd with will lately. I fell like we make progress but then his ex comes back into the picture and I'm not willing to try to invest all my time and effort into this if she isn't completely done with. As of now I guess I'll keep playing things by ear, by boy this is getting old.

last night was one of the most ridiculous nights of my life. the neighbors were hosting a 21 run for a friend so kate and i decided to go. shay didnt even look at me the entire night but whatever im over it. it was really fun and i pretty much just hung out with christian josh and jordan the whole night. im really gunna miss them next year. im not sure where they are living but its gunna be so different not being able to just walk down the driveway to their house whenever. anyways the last thing i remember is taking two shots at 11 and then its all blank. i woke up in the morning with my pants and uggs DRENCHED laying on the floor, my camera screen cracked, an earring missing, and bruises all over my knees and arms. according to christian i either fell in a mud puddle or took a shower in my clothes, both of which he says are extremely possible judging from the shape i was in last night. wow.

i have absoutly no motivation at all when it comes to school. i have a test on friday which i havent even begun to think about. all i do when im home is lay in bed and watch weeds or greys anatomy on dvd. i still have three months left at school but i just want so badly to be done.the thing is if i dont get excellent grades this semester my dad is going to cancel my flight to philly. i should have never gotten a 4.0 last semester now they just expect it again.

anyways i realllyyy wanna go to coldplay on july 9th and am buying a freaking ticket right when they go on sale so i dont miss out like i did for lady gaga :(

no longer easy on the eyes

i'm loosing site of who i am and who i want to be. shay refuses to talk to me. i'm hoping that it will all blow over soon cuz even though he has his moments when i just want to slap him, he is a good friend. i have no idea where i will be living next year and we have exactly five days to figure it out. stacy is most likely going to be living with jason which i think will be better. i love her to death but she's just one of those people that i can't be around 24/7. things with will are going ok i guess. i still think he's hung up on his crazy ex girlfriend even though he says he isn't. it's just hard when she lives RIGHT across the street from him and i hear that she came over and they faught about god knows what. on the bright side of things my birthday is 16 days away and i've been watching weeds all day. best show ever.